Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

March 19, 2008

a response

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kerri @ 5:58 pm

below is a response to my most recent blog, written by my cousin Rob. he had a lot of good points, so i figured i’d share them with you all. thoughts?

Ker-Bear,

Thanks for a post that is very thought provoking.  There are many angles to look at this situation from and I will try my best to keep them clear and concise.  While I appreciate your feelings of sympathy for “Kristen” and your hesitation in wanting to pass any judgement on her, I think that we should be careful not to go too far in characterizing her as a victim or the ONLY victim.  As far as that goes, I think that Eliott Spitzer’s wife and daughters are the TRUE victims.  While most times I would probably be right there with you in sympathy for a common street prostitute (the kind which represent the overwhelming majority of those in that “profession”) who are often hooked on drugs and threatened with violence by a “pimp” if they do not produce revenue or who are robbed or beaten by their customers, or who are driven to it because of extreme poverty, I am much less inclined to be overly sympathetic to a high priced call girl who is provided with all expense paid trips to Washington complete with 5 star hotel accomodations and a $4500.00 price tag to have sex with clean, respectful (not to be confused with RESPECTABLE), well educated executive types.

I read the article that you linked (actually, I read it on CNN before you provided the link) and “Kristen” gives some information (though not in much detail) about her less than ideal upbringing.  Sadly, there does not seem to be much about her situation that is not familiar to most American kids this day in age (or for the last few decades for that matter).  Broken, disfunctional homes seem to be more the norm these days.  Having come from a broken, disfunctional home I can say with no small degree of familiarity that it is not an excuse to take a similar disfunctional path in your OWN life.  In fact, in my own situation, I used what I saw in my home growing up as a blue print of how NOT to live my life and vowed not to make the same mistakes that I witnessed being made by my “parents.”  Unfortunately, many people seem to go right down the exact same path that their disfunctional parents did.

“Kristen” went to New York at age 17 to pursue a career in music.  It could be, perhaps, that it was in pursuit of a pipe dream for which she really didn’t have a talent.  (Remember William Hung from American Idol?)  But instead of facing reality and choosing the “normal” path for her life (get a job, work your way up, seek education or training opportunities, be a respectable, hard working, tax paying citizen contributing to society) she took the “easy” money.  And let’s not forget that we have not heard “Kirsten’s” story from anyone other than her.  Perhaps her home life wasn’t as bad as she claimed but maybe she was a rebellious teen bent on her own proud destruction.

Now, don’t get me wrong…she may have had some very bad things happen in her young life and I TRULY am not judging her piously without regard for the fact that I, too, have committed some grievous sins in my own life.  But when it comes right down to it she is a sinner in need of a Saviour just like anyone else.  The easy path is to blame your past for your present and not accept any responsibilities for your own actions…the harder path is to do what is right regardless of the cost.

Although I have no idea what her true musical talents are, I can tell you that from having seen her picture she was blessed with favorable looks.  While that in and of itself is no guarantee of success in life, it is an advantage in most situations.  She chose to use that advantage to appeal to the basist of needs/wants of the male gender.  The Media, of course, will paint her as a “victim” regardless of what the truth may be.  The article also said that she had appeared in Rap videos as a dancer complete with making lewd gestures to the camera as a part of that video.  I must say that the whole “men are pigs and women are victims” is getting a bit tired.  This day in age, women have just as many opportunites to excel in life that men do and if they don’t want to be treated as objects then they shouldn’t PRESENT themselves as such.  In short, (some) women can “objectify” themselves when it plays to their advantage and claim being TREATED as objects when it doesn’t.  In addition to the quotes that you sited, Ker-Bear, here’s one from the same article that you didn’t:

“I made it. I’m still here and I love who I am. If I never went through the hard times, I would not be able to appreciate the good ones.” One can reasonably say that based own her own self-evaluation she: 1.)  Is not ashamed of who she is or what she does and… 2.)  Considers her current situation “good times” Another factor that I believe comes into play here is that too many young people of this generation have bought into the whole “looks-riches-fame” game.  One only has to look at the current culture for evidence.  Britney, Paris, and Lindsey are the “role models.”  “Be rich, party, shop, don’t wear panties, be chased by photographers, go to the “in” clubs, get drunk, do drugs, have indescretions caught on tape and talked about on Entertainment Tonight, be a singer, a dancer, an actress, go to rehab/escape from rehab/record a song about rehab and win a Grammy, be a “rump shaker” in a Rap video, go on Oprah and talk about your troubled childhood and crappy parents, marry a rock star/divorce a rock star, have a nanny raise your kids, get a hug from Dr. Phil, tell all on your MySpace, do ANYTHING but don’t DARE accept responsibility for your own actions…so on and so forth” “Kristen” has attained what seemed to be her goal…notoriety and celebrity.  Her MySpace page recorded 5 MILLION hits yesterday and her “music” has been exposed to an audience she otherwise would not have had.  Her brother is “okay with what she does” and is “there for her.”  In short, “poor little ‘Kristen’” seems to be doing okay and now millions of young girls can add her to their list of “role models.”  She is the real life personification of Julia Roberts’ character in “Pretty Woman”; the glamorous, genteel, educated, romantic HOOKER er, ah, sorry, “Call Girl” in search of a “Prince Charming” like Richard Gere who will have absolutely no qualms about her profession and will fall madly in love with her and they will live happily ever after living in a pretty white house with a white picket fence, a dog, a cat, and three beautiful kids!  Perhaps “Pretty Woman” is even “Kristen’s” favorite movie and it was produced by the same culture that is hell bent on forcing their version of happiness and reality on an unsuspecting young populace. I’m not judging “Kirsten” in the spirit of thinking that I am any better than she is.  She needs to repent, as do we all.  I am merely judging her fruits against what the Bible says is right.  People may have sinned against her but she, too is a sinner.  God loves her, but not her sin.  I can only be a merciful, compassionate messenger knowing that I, too will someday have to stand before God and give an account.  I can’t throw stones…heck, I can’t even pick one up but I can reach a hand out to help her up and share with her a better way and that must start with pointing out where she has fallen short according to God’s plan if she doesn’t already KNOW that it is wrong.  i.e. How does the sinner know they ARE one and that they are IN NEED of a Saviour unless they know what sin IS? Now, let’s talk about the REAL victims of this mess…Mrs. Spitzer and her daughters…and the good tax paying citizens of New York who paid $80,000.00 for all this.   Don’t take this post as a rebuke, Kerri…that is not the spirit or tone in which it is typed…it is merely discussion.  I appreciate your point of view and this opportunity to ponder more deeply on an interesting subject.  

March 13, 2008

this really got my attention

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kerri @ 1:09 pm

i’m sure by now, most of you have heard about the sex scandal involving NY Governor Spitzer. the prostitute’s identity has recently been revealed – her name is Kristen Dupre, and she is a 22-year-old would-be singer from New Jersey, the New York Times reported Wednesday.

the radio report i heard this morning worded it this way “She left her home in New Jersey at age 17 to New York to pursue her dreams of becoming a singer.”

a singer. not a prostitute. not the subject of a scandal involving a political figure. not a woman who is objectified and used for just sex.

i don’t know why this hit me so hard, but the only thing i could think of when the radio news report said the words “to pursue her dreams of becoming a singer” i just immediately began to feel a tinge of sympathy for this girl. she had dreams. aspirations. goals. she wanted to be someone – someone famous, perhaps. but there is no doubt in my mind that this girl did not aspire to be a prostitute who would one day be exposed and shamed for her involvement with a well-known political figure.

Dupre writes that she left home at 17 to begin “my odyssey to New York.”

“It was my decision, and I’ve never looked back,” she writes. “Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again.

“Learned what it was like to wake up one day and have the people you care about most gone. I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music.”

i’m sure some of you would disagree with me, and perhaps have very little sympathy for this girl who is in such a terrible situation. but for some reason, i just can’t allow myself to condemn a girl just one year younger than me who started out her adult life with honest goals and aspirations, only to end up traveling down a devastating path that will most likely scar her and leave her broken and emotionally damaged for quite some time.

it seems to me that sometimes – maybe too oftentimes – i neglect the option of sympathizing with those like Kristen, caught up in a life of sin and bad decisions. but where is the love and compassion? certainly, the choice of prostitution was not at all a good one – but it was not her first choice. not by a long shot. and now, look where she has ended up? this girl needs love. she needs someone to tell her she is beautiful, and worthy of love, regardless of whether or not she sells her body. she needs hope. she needs compassion. the last thing she needs right now is condemnation.

i am still somewhat surprised with myself that i am having such a reaction to this situation – but i’m also glad that it got my attention and forced me to rethink how i respond to and show compassion to others who so greatly need more than just a condescending look or a judgmental opinion.

for the story, go here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/03/13/spitzer.kristen/index.html

March 12, 2008

failed by our very complication

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kerri @ 8:00 pm

“We are not idealized wild things.

We are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality even as we push it away, failed by our very complication, so wired that when we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. As we were. As we are no longer. As we will one day not be at all.”

-from The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

March 3, 2008

rediscovering a favorite pastime

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kerri @ 2:06 pm

i haven’t read a good book in quite awhile – and by “quite awhile” i mean at least a few months. i realized that lately i’ve been missing the enjoyment of this activity, and so i broke my reading fast with the book “Farenheit 451″ by Ray Bradbury.

it was a book that i am not used to reading – but it was fascinating. i haven’t read too much fiction lately, and i usually don’t read science fiction (the genre this book falls in), but i extremely enjoyed this one.

once i finished, i was reminded why reading is such a good escape from every day life – from ourselves, from our petty problems, from our worries, from our fears – it is an escape from all things reality. and though this escape is temporary, a good book always stays with you and gets you thinking more about ideas that you never thought about before. it challenges you. it inspires you. it changes your outlook on life.

and it is this reason that i have decided to do my best to resume reading more often – it’s been way too long since i’ve spent several weeks at a time reading good books. i’m looking forward to it.

“Stuff your eyes with wonder…live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask no guarantees, ask for no security, there never was such an animal. And if there were, it would be related to the great sloth which hangs upside down in a tree all day every day, sleeping its life away. To hell with that, shake the tree and knock the great sloth down on his ass.”

-Farenheit 451 

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